He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
