I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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