We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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