Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize