i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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