any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
