I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The power of my boobs compel you
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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