I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Randomize