What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
