Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
