You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
