everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
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