So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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