plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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