I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
