a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
