i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
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