You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
two words: eviction party
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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