My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'm both gender and math confused
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
