she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Gay?
German.
Pity.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
