I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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