I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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