Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize