Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
