I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
