Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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