When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
