So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize