we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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