i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
