but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
