Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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