exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
