I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
