When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize