8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Randomize
