if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
