What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
