i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Randomize
