How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
