Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize