3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
