I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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