He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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