I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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