what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
