when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
