i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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