Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
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