oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
