I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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