I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
