I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
