sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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