Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Everyone says I win the strip club
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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