you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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