Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
