You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
