Screwed.edu
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Never let your siblings swipe right.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
