just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
