FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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