Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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